018: Alex: Adoption Can Go Smoothly

Alex is a single-mother-by-choice who decided to take the adoption route to build her family. She tells me about how she educated herself on the process and how she conquered the emotional hurdles. As well as the stigma of being a single woman wanting to adopt.

Alex was in her 30s when she decided to pursue adoption. She spoke to agencies and dove into the research process to really find the option that best fit her.  She has some insight on what she found out about international adoption versus domestic and why she decided domestic was her best path. She also shares how she found an adoption attorney that not only looked out for her best interests but also the birth mother’s as well. She is very open about the process and really advocates for private adoption.

Anybody who wants to love my daughter is welcome. I'm not going to draw a line and say, oh no, I don't want you to have a loving relationship with her because I'm the mom, you're not the mom.-Alex Click To Tweet

Alex’s adoption process is what is known as an “open adoption,” which means the child is aware of their biological family and has access to them. Alex is very honest about the initial fear of including the birth mother in their life but is happy to say now she welcomes the diversity of her family. We discuss the concept of a “family constellation” rather than a “family tree.”

Not many people are as open about the adoption process as Alex is, so I think today’s episode is very insightful and encouraging.

In the beginning, while I was open and I was sending photos to her birth mom, I was more hesitant than I am now because I needed to find my way and my role as a mother.- Alex Click To Tweet

Some highlights of today’s conversation:

  • Alex’s early ideas of motherhood and family.
  • Why adoption was the best path for her.
  • How Alex educated herself on the adoption process.
  • Why an adoption attorney was a game changer.
  • The differences between international adoption and domestic adoption.
  • Alex’s relationship with her daughter’s birth mother and extended family.
  • How she keeps the door of communication open for her daughter.
  • How to build a “family constellation.”
  • How Alex explains her family to her daughter, and the terms “biological mother” and “real mom.”
  • The importance of both biology and nurture regarding raising a child.
  • What Alex would have done differently in hindsight.
  • Her advice to other women considering her path and the single-mother-by-choice option.
I had the moment where I thought, I don't want to get married just to get married. I want to be married to someone I want to be with and if that person isn't here right now, then that person isn't here right now.- Alex Click To Tweet

Resources

David Radis, Adoption Attorney

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Motherhood Reimagined Website

Motherhood Reimagined Tribe

Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski

Sarah’s email

Thank you for joining me for another inspirational episode of Motherhood Reimagined. If you would like to work with me, please contact me through my email or the Motherhood Reimagined website. Please take the time to subscribe to the podcast and help the Motherhood Reimagined community grow. Also, if you are wanting some guidance on this unconventional path, consider joining my Motherhood Reimagined Tribe. You can also read my memoir for more insight. We can also be found on social media on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook.

I am currently looking for guests for the show so if you have an alternative path to motherhood, I’d love to talk with you!

As a side note, I am still looking for members for my Tribe Signature Level Support groups. In addition to my Thinkers/Triers group, I am launching a Pregnant and Solo group.  Signature Level Tribe members will get video calls with a small group of other women who are at the same stage of their journey. You also get an online community forum and access to all my content. I will be raising prices on the Signature Level Support Group memberships on April 30, 2019. So, to lock in your price at $59 a month, here are some coupon codes, Foundermonthly (for a monthly subscription) and founder6 (for a 6-month subscription.) I look forward to meeting you!

If you want a more private interaction with me, then consider my VIP Tribe membership. You get up to six 30 minute calls with me and unlimited WhatsApp voice text support, as well as access to all my content. I’m only taking a handful of women so don’t miss your chance to be a VIP client.

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