Will I be single forever if I have a baby alone? It’s a question I get asked by numerous women. It’s a fear that often grips many of us contemplating this journey, looming larger than life, turning itself into an almost omnipresent shadow. I remember back when I was navigating the tangled pathway toward becoming a single mom by choice. One haunting question constantly resurfaced: “Will I remain single forever if I take this path?” It’s a valid concern because most of us always wanted a partner. Having a baby solo was not our first choice.
Embracing Life’s Uncertainties:
I sought insight from my mentor and Qigong master, Chris, to untangle these gnarled fears rooted deep within me. Chris, with his ever-reassuring presence, chuckled and reminded me, “There are never any guarantees in life. And certainly, that’s more true with men.”
His words echoed with a truth that was both blunt and slightly cheeky, shedding light on the fact that life, especially one involving others, comes without a warranty card. It beckoned the question: why let this uncertainty hold you back when you can steer your ship courageously into the uncharted waters brimming with opportunities?
“The only thing that is constant is change,” said Heraclitus, a truth resonating deeply in the ever-evolving narrative of life, echoing the Buddhist principle of impermanence I had embraced for years. It was Chris who drew me into a deeper realization that uncertainties are not just philosophical concepts but living entities, constantly morphing, bringing unexpected twists and turns at every juncture of life.
Navigating Life’s Twists and Turns:
During our heart-to-heart, Chris urged me to confront the unknown with open arms. To acknowledge that life could throw pleasant surprises no matter which path I took. If I got pregnant the old-fashioned way with a partner, he could exit life’s stage suddenly, leaving me and a child behind. Conversely, if I got pregnant alone via a sperm donor, I could meet the man of my dreams the next day. Yes, it was a bit morbid to think that a partner could disappear at any time. Yet, it was essential to embrace the reality of life’s fragile nature while nurturing hope and joy derived from unexpected encounters and self-reliance.
The Ever-Evolving Story of Life:
What became glaringly clear was that choosing to be a single mother didn’t carve my life’s story in immutable stone. It opened a door to a pathway adorned with opportunities for joyous unexpected encounters, a life rich with experiences woven from threads of love, self-reliance, and a community harmoniously crafted with like-minded souls.
Facing Fear Together:
So, to all aspiring single moms by choice wrestling with the fear of whether you will remain single forever, let’s stand tall, anchoring ourselves in the dynamic flux of life, a place where fears transform into stepping stones guiding us to forge paths laden with love and tenacity.
I am eager to resonate with your apprehensions, the ones lurking in the dark corners of your mind, especially during the solitary pre-dawn hours. Share them, and let’s voice these fears together, creating a vibrant tapestry of experiences showcasing that singlehood isn’t a permanent state but just a phase in our beautiful, ever-evolving story of life. Send me an email and tell me how this fear is impacting your decision-making or how it did and how you relate to this fear now.