013: Karin: Starting as A Single Mom By Choice To Getting Married And Blending Families

Karin chose to be a single-mother-by-choice in her late 20s. She is now married with a step-daughter and two-parent family structure. I asked Karin to tell me what it was like to date while pregnant and how she weeded out the creeps from the serious candidates.

There is plenty of amazing people out there who love children and you're going to meet somebody through your kid who is already in the kid world and you'll go from there. - Karin Click To Tweet

She also tells me about her plans to conceive a child through a friend’s sperm donation and the shift to a sperm donor bank when her original plan didn’t work. She describes the mindset she went through while looking for a new sperm donor. Tragedy struck during her pregnancy when her daughter’s twin was born stillborn. She is very frank about that disappointment and her regrets about that baby’s treatment.

We then move on to how Karin met her partner and how they blended two families. She shares her experience as a step-mom and explains the pros and cons of choosing to parent with someone else. She encourages parents to look for their “tribes” and build a community for themselves and their family.

They (the kids) had this six month honeymoon period where they were in love with each other and they would play together all the time and 80% of the time stoked to be around each other. It was amazing but it didn't last. - Karin Click To Tweet

Some highlights of today’s conversation:

  • Karin’s early expectations of motherhood.
  • Her plans to conceive her child with a friend.
  • How she chose her sperm donor when the original plan didn’t work.
  • The heartbreak of giving birth to one live child and one stillborn.
  • How Karin balanced dating and pregnancy.
  • When she realized she wanted a blended family.
  • How she met her partner.
  • The upside of parenting with another person.
  • The downside of being part of a partnership.
  • Karin’s life as a step-mom.
  • How she was able to blend her family.
  • Karin’s advice for pregnant women who want to date.
  • Her regrets from her pregnancy.
  • How Karin built a community and tribe for her daughter.
I had all of these ideas, I was only going to use cloth diapers, I was going to make all my baby's food...in all my spare time of running my own business, so a lot of that stuff fell away. - Karin Click To Tweet

Resources

Center for Loss in Multiple Births (CLIMB)

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Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski

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Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. I am currently looking for guests for the show so if you have an alternative path to motherhood, I’d love to talk with you!  Also, Tribe is live! So check it out and connect with women who are exactly in your shoes and can relate. Please join us for our next episode when we talk to another inspirational mother!

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