What is a single mom by choice

What is a Single Mom by Choice?

What is a Single Mom by Choice?

The term “single mom by choice” or “SMBC”  often conjures up images of a woman who has it all figured out, confidently choosing motherhood on her own terms. And while that narrative certainly holds true for some, it doesn’t encompass the complex emotions and journeys that many of us experience. 

So, what does it really mean to be a single mom by choice? 

At its core, it describes a woman who makes the conscious decision to pursue motherhood without a partner. This could look like:

It’s important to acknowledge that “choice” doesn’t always feel like the right word.  Like many women, I always envisioned a future with a partner and children. But life doesn’t always follow our timelines, and the desire to become a mother can be incredibly powerful. And not something you are willing to forgo. 

That’s where the empowering decision to become a single mother by choice comes in. It’s about taking control of your future and refusing to let societal expectations dictate your path to motherhood. It might just mean changing the order of things a bit. 

Many women face biases and judgments for being single and not having found a partner by a certain age.  Maybe they focused on their careers, like I did, or maybe they just haven’t met the right person yet. Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that a woman’s worth is not tied to her relationship status.  Choosing single motherhood is a way to embrace your own timeline and create the family you’ve always dreamed of. 

Motherhood Reimagined: My Story

As I faced the closing of my fertility window, I realized I needed to think about whether or not I truly wanted children … with or without someone to co-parent with. 

After much soul-searching, I decided to take the leap into single motherhood, choosing to use an  Identity-Release sperm donor.  But my path to motherhood took an unexpected turn when I was told I would likely need to use an egg donor as well. 

“WHAT?  This was definitely not part of the plan!” I remember thinking.

After a year of trying to conceive with my own eggs, I came to terms with needing both an egg and sperm donor. My son was born in 2014, and I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey.  

Motherhood is about love, plain and simple … no matter how complicated the journey is getting there.

My story is a testament to the strength and resilience of women who choose single motherhood. It’s a reminder that there is no one right way to become a mother and that the love between a parent and a child is what truly matters. 

Having a baby alone doesn’t mean you will never find a partnership

—it’s simply switching the order of things. You are not choosing a life of solitude; you are choosing to embrace motherhood on your own terms and build your family in a way that feels right for you.  

If you are considering becoming a single mother by choice, know that you are not alone.

There is a vibrant and supportive community of single mothers by choice ready to welcome you. My organization, Motherhood Reimagined, offers resources and support for women like you who are navigating the journey to single motherhood. Book a free 30-minute consultation to get started on your journey and find out how I can support you. 

Remember, motherhood is a journey, not a destination. Whether you embark on that journey with a partner or on your own, the love you share with your child will be no less powerful.