Embracing Matrescence: Nurturing Your New Identity as a Single Mom by Choice
Calling all fabulous single moms by choice or aspiring single moms by choice! As you dive into this exhilarating journey of motherhood, it’s important to acknowledge the significant changes that lie ahead as a solo mom postpartum. In my last blog post, I explored the incredible joy that comes with being a mom, which can make those sacrifices seem like a small price to pay.
But it’s important to give voice to what those early days can be like and what you can do to make the transition to motherhood as smooth as possible so that those who are thinking about becoming solo mothers, those currently trying and in the thick of it now, can get a sense of what’s to come and think about how to be proactive in making your transition to single motherhood by choice the smoothest possible.
The Rollercoaster Ride of Solo Motherhood:
Buckle up, mama, because the transition to motherhood is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded while juggling a circus of tasks. It’s a wild adventure filled with doubts, adjustments, and emotions that make even the most skilled acrobats envious. But fear not, you’re not alone in this wild ride. Countless single moms by choice have gone through the same ups and downs and came out stronger. Trust me, it gets better!
In those early days, panic sets in for many, and you may find yourself wondering, “What have I done?” or “Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?” But fear not! I’ve observed countless single moms go through this progression, and let me assure you—it gets better.
By month two, you start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. You think MAYBE it will get better and be ok. And by month three, you realize that you’ve made the best decision of your life.
This progression occurs regardless of whether that mom is experiencing postpartum depression! And may be prolonged if someone is experiencing postpartum depression.
Not everyone feels immediately bonded to their baby–and that’s ok.
But watching so many mamas go through this progression has made me realize that we don’t spend enough time focusing on how to help mamas transition to motherhood. And that’s why I love the concept of Matrescence.
Embracing Matrescence as a Single Mom by Choice:
Amidst the adorable chaos and occasional circus acts, it’s important to recognize the incredible transformation happening within you. Matrescence, a fancy word for the journey from womanhood to superhero mom, is your personal evolution. You’re growing, adapting, and navigating uncharted territories, all while keeping your sense of style and sass intact. Embrace this superpower and let it shine!
I like to consciously think about what you can claim from your old life and what you need to surrender.
Preserving Your Fabulousness As a Solo Mom:
Choose something meaningful from your former life to hold onto—a touchstone of your identity. Hold on to the things that make you feel like you. Whether it’s indulging in a guilty pleasure TV show, dancing like no one’s watching, pretzeling yourself into a few yoga poses or savoring a cup of coffee in your favorite cafe, these little pleasures are your secret weapons. By preserving this aspect of your former self, you create a sanctuary to reconnect with yourself and find balance amid the beautiful chaos of being a single mom.
Embrace the New Chapter:
Motherhood has redefined your priorities, and your little sidekick takes center stage. You are not the same woman you were before–you’ve undergone a radical transformation. Embrace this new chapter as much as you can. While some things may temporarily take a back seat, like spontaneous girls’ nights or binge-watching your favorite series, remember that you’re nurturing and supporting a mini version of yourself. That, my dear, is no small feat!
Practical Tips for Single Supermoms:
- Power Pose and Laugh: Strike a power pose, channel your inner Wonder Woman, and don’t forget to laugh along the way. Laughter is the best medicine, especially during those moments when spit-up becomes a fashion accessory.
- Self-Care Is Super: Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take time for self-care, whether it’s indulging in a relaxing bath, savoring a hot cup of coffee, or sneaking in a power nap. Supermoms need rest and rejuvenation too!
- Find Your Super Squad: Seek out a community of supportive single moms who understand the unique challenges you face. Join local support groups or online communities where you can share stories, seek advice, and find solace. Consider joining the Motherhood Reimagined Postpartum Support Group. Together, you’re an unstoppable force!
- Delegate and Conquer: Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Delegate tasks, accept offers of support, and establish clear boundaries. Remember, you’re a superhero, not a one-woman show.
- Celebrate Every Victory: Acknowledge and celebrate your triumphs, big and small. From conquering a challenging day to witnessing your child’s milestones, each moment is a testament to your strength and resilience.
Conclusion: How to Rock It As A New Single Mom By Choice
As you navigate the exhilarating journey of solo motherhood, remember that you are a force to be reckoned with. Embrace the challenges, find humor in the chaos, and nurture your fabulous identity. Matrescence is your superpower!
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